Two years ago, Catherine Barnett passed away. Ours was a complicated relationship, but she was my mom. I loved her and I wrote this because I felt I had to express some of the emotions racing through me. - Pete

A MOTHER'S LOVE

©Peter Stone 2021

 

From my rocky, feral place far below the heavens, I reach for the ancient sun that is my mother...my light and my soul. I cannot look directly into the cascading molten fury of her eyes...for though she is life, she is also death.

 

My mother is the union of Hephaestus and Aphrodite in a bitter, human form. And I...I am the daughter of fire and beauty intertwined...of the forge and the Rose...the monster of desire and the goddess of hate.

 

Chained forever to this bleak ball of craggy suffering, my only transgression being mere existence, I struggle for joy...for happiness...for the sword to slay my invisible demons. I struggle for freedom from my mother's eternal hatred and freedom from my mother's momentary love.

 

But your bonds are too strong, mother.

 

Even when you are gone, your barbs and hooks remain deep within me.

 

I tried to die in exchange for your love. You said, "Not now."

 

I begged for you to live and held your hand when you whispered, "No. I won't." And slipped away into the dark.

 

You are unrequited love and ferocious hate.

 

Now all that I can do for you...my last gift...is to live.